The loss of a loved one is an intensely personal journey, often accompanied by a whirlwind of emotions. Some individuals may experience prolonged grief or bereavement-related depression.
During a challenging time like this, finding healthy coping mechanisms is essential. Among them, journaling is a simple yet powerful tool for navigating the complexities of grief.
Grief counselors increasingly recommend journaling as a valuable addition to traditional support. Let’s explore how putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) can aid in the healing process.
Unpacking Grief Through Writing: How Journaling Helps
Journaling offers several psychological benefits that can provide comfort and promote healing during bereavement:
A Safe Space for Emotions: Grief brings a spectrum of feelings — sadness, anger, guilt, and confusion. Journaling provides a private, non-judgmental outlet to express these intense emotions without fear of criticism.
Ashlee Proffitt writes in The Morning, “Grief journaling is one way of allowing ourselves the safe, judgment-free space for genuine re-telling and healing.”
Writing down your emotions can be cathartic, offering a sense of release and helping to release overwhelming feelings.
Making Sense of Loss: Journaling helps organize thoughts and create a narrative around the experience of loss.
By reflecting on events and constructing a personal account, you can find meaning in your loss and adapt to a life that has been changed.
According to grief experts, “reconstructing our personal self-narrative is critical in the healing process.” (“Journaling for Healing – Full Circle Grief Center
Keeping Memories Alive: Writing down cherished memories, stories, and anecdotes about the deceased creates a tangible record of the relationship.
This act of remembrance helps maintain a sense of connection and fosters a continuing bond with the loved one.
The American Institute of Health Care Professionals notes journaling allows for the “preservation of memories and the expression of ongoing dialogues that might otherwise remain internalized.”
Boosting Self-Awareness: Regularly documenting thoughts, behaviors, and moods can lead to greater self-insight.
Reviewing past entries can reveal patterns in emotional responses and coping strategies, highlighting progress and areas needing further attention.
The Morning’s Proffitt also points out that it helps us “become more aware of our own emotions, as writing something down on paper (or typing it on a computer) forces us to slow down and concentrate on our thoughts.”
Reducing Stress and Promoting Well-being: Writing has been shown to reduce stress levels and improve overall well-being.
Studies suggest journaling can positively impact physical health, including immune function, heart rate, blood pressure, and sleep quality.
Getting Started: Practical Tips for Grief Journaling
There’s no one “right” way to keep a grief journal. Here are some approaches and tips to consider:
Choose Your Style: Explore different methods like free writing (stream-of-consciousness), using prompts, writing letters to the deceased, gratitude journaling, or visual journaling.
Find what feels most comfortable and therapeutic for you. As Natalie Goldberg advises in “Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within,” keep your hands moving. “Do not pause to reread the line you have just written…that is stalling and trying to get control of what you are saying.” (“Journaling for Healing – Full Circle Grief Center”)
Create a Routine: Try to journal regularly, even if it’s just for a few minutes each day. Consistency can be more beneficial than infrequent, long sessions.
Aim for at least 15 minutes. A study on the benefits of writing about emotional experiences found that writing for a minimum of 15 minutes produced the best results.
Utilize Prompts: If you’re unsure where to begin, use prompts to guide your writing. (“8 Ways to Nurture Your Mental Health | Clarity Clinic”)
Examples include: “My favorite memory of my loved one is…”, “Today, I am feeling…”, or “One thing I miss most is…” Consider prompts like “What was their favorite holiday?” or “Write about where you feel your grief in your body”.
Find Your Space: Choose a private and comfortable place to write without interruptions.
The most important thing about your chosen location is that you feel “safe and unhurried” there. (“Journaling Grief: How to Use Writing to Cope with Loss – dayoneapp.com”)
Don’t Worry About Perfection: Focus on expressing your thoughts and feelings honestly, without concern for grammar, spelling, or punctuation.
This is for your eyes only. Again, as Goldberg suggests, “Do not worry about spelling, punctuation, or grammar.”
Be Kind to Yourself: Approach journaling with self-compassion and without judgment.
Allow yourself to feel whatever arises. Remember, “this is a judgment-free zone.”
Choosing Your Journal
Digital Journaling Options: While traditional pen-and-paper journaling works well for many people, digital options offer unique advantages for grief journaling.
Journaling Apps
- Day One: Features password protection, photo integration, and calendar views to track emotional patterns over time.
- Reflectly: Uses AI to provide prompts and help identify emotional patterns.
- Penzu: Secure, user-friendly digital journaling platform with excellent privacy features.
- Daylio: Mood tracking app that combines journaling with emotion monitoring to identify patterns.
Benefits of Digital Journaling
- Privacy: Password protection keeps sensitive thoughts secure.
- Searchability: Easily find past entries by keyword or date.
- Multimedia: Incorporate photos, voice recordings, or mementos of your loved one.
- Accessibility: Always available on your phone or device, even when traveling.
- Reminders: Set gentle notifications to maintain your practice.
Physical Journal Resources
For those who prefer the tactile experience of handwriting or creating art in their grief journey, here are some meaningful options:
Specialized Grief Journals
- How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed: A grief journal with writing prompts, exercises, and space for personal reflection
- Promptly Journals Healing Journey: A beautiful, guided journal designed to help process grief with thoughtful prompts and space for reflection
- Grief & Healing Journal: A thoughtfully designed workbook with guided prompts and exercises for navigating the grief journey
Creating Your Own: Consider making a personalized grief journal by:
- Using a simple three-ring binder to include mementos, photos, and different paper types
- Decorating a plain notebook with images or quotes that represent your loved one
- Adding pockets to collect small keepsakes alongside your writing
Finding Balance: Some people find a hybrid approach works best—perhaps handwritten journaling for deeply emotional processing and digital tools for daily check-ins or when on the go.
Remember that the medium matters less than the act itself. Choose the method that feels most natural and accessible to you. Whatever format you choose, consider selecting something that feels inviting and comforting—a journal that beckons rather than intimidates.
Overcoming Common Journaling Obstacles
Even with the best intentions, many people face challenges when starting a grief journal. Here are some common obstacles and how to address them:
“I don’t know what to write”
This is perhaps the most common barrier. Start small with simple prompts:
- Write a single sentence about how you’re feeling right now
- Describe one memory that surfaced today
- List three things you miss about your loved one
Remember that doodling, creating word clouds, or even pasting photos can be forms of journaling too.
“It’s too painful to write about my loss”
Grief can be overwhelming; writing about it might feel like reopening a wound.
Try setting boundaries for your journaling session—perhaps write for just 5 minutes or use a timer.
Another approach is to start with gratitude entries or memories that bring comfort rather than pain.
“I can’t maintain a consistent practice”
Many people abandon journaling because they feel pressured to write daily.
Instead, aim for a sustainable rhythm—perhaps twice a week. Quality matters more than quantity or frequency.
Consider linking journaling to an existing habit, like having your morning coffee or before bed.
“I’m not seeing benefits right away.”
Healing through journaling is rarely linear or immediate.
Try dating your entries and occasionally look back to notice subtle shifts in your grief journey.
The benefits often reveal themselves over time as patterns emerge and intensity shifts.
Finding Your Path to Healing
It’s important to “dive into the tough stuff,” advises Goldberg. “Do not avoid the scary, unsettling parts of grief…this is sometimes where the best processing and healing occurs.”
Keep it simple. Journal on a grief emotion, use a sentence starter or grief journal prompt or draw/paint your grief.
The journey through grief is deeply personal, and your journaling practice should reflect your unique needs. Some days, you might write pages; other days, just a few words.
Remember that journaling is not a replacement for professional support but a complementary practice that can enhance your healing journey. Consider sharing insights from your journal with a therapist or grief counselor if you’re working with one.
As you continue writing over time, your journal becomes not just a record of your grief but a testament to your resilience. Through your words, you honor both your loved one’s memory and your own capacity to carry their love forward.
Your grief journey may never truly end, but journaling can help transform it from a burden that weighs you down to a connection that moves with you through life. One word, one page at a time, you’re not just processing loss—you’re reclaiming your story and discovering strength you perhaps didn’t know you had.
Whether you choose structured prompts, free-flowing thoughts, or artwork, expressing your grief through journaling offers a valuable and accessible path toward healing—providing not just solace in your darkest moments but illumination for the road ahead.
Frequently Asked Questions About Grief Journaling
How soon after a loss should I start journaling?
There’s no “right time” to begin. Some people find immediate comfort in writing, while others need distance from the acute phase of grief. Start when it feels manageable for you, even if that’s months after your loss.
Will journaling make me feel worse by focusing on my grief?
While journaling may temporarily intensify emotions, research suggests this short-term discomfort often leads to long-term benefits. If journaling consistently leaves you feeling worse, consider adjusting your approach or speaking with a grief counselor.
Do I need to share my journal with anyone?
Absolutely not. Your journal is private unless you choose to share it. Some find sharing selected entries with a therapist or trusted friend helpful, but this is entirely your decision.
What if I can’t write every day?
Consistency helps, but quality matters more than frequency. Even once-weekly journaling can provide benefits. Be gentle with yourself.
How do I know if journaling is helping?
Look for subtle signs: sleeping better, feeling more able to talk about your loss, experiencing moments of peace, or noticing new insights about yourself. Healing isn’t linear, but journaling often helps make the journey more manageable.
Share Your Experience
Have you used journaling to navigate grief?
What approaches worked best for you? Do you prefer structured prompts or free writing? Paper journals or digital apps? Your insights might help someone else who’s just beginning their grief journey.
If you’ve found this article helpful, consider sharing it with someone who might benefit from exploring journaling as a healing practice. Sometimes, the easiest tools can offer the most profound support during life’s most challenging transitions.
Carrie Phelps-Campbell, TMG Blog