When a loved one dies, one of the immediate next steps is planning the burial. Even those who opt for cremation may choose a cemetery burial, making this a critical consideration.
While it may initially seem overwhelming, with our simple step-by-step planning guide, you’ll ensure you’ve addressed the most vital pieces of the burial process.
Start Here: What You Need to Know about Cemetery Burials
If you’ve opted for a cemetery burial — with the body itself or cremated remains — the first step is finding a cemetery. Most are classified as either “traditional” or “memorial” gardens — the former allows more ornate headstones, monuments, and even large private or family mausoleums. In contrast, the gardens often restrict remembrances to flush-ground memorials. Tippecanoe Memory Garden offers all of these options.
Within these cemeteries, there are often four types of ground plots:
- Single
- Companion
- Family and those for
- Cremated remains
As the names would suggest, single and companion plots accommodate one or two caskets, respectively, while family plots are typically small areas dedicated to four or more spaces. Most cemeteries also have areas for cremated remains, whether they’re in the ground like a traditional burial plot, in an urn garden, or an above-ground columbarium. Contact us to learn about all of these options.
Burials typically take place within a few days of death, so if you haven’t pre-planned your arrangements, it’s important to begin planning as quickly as possible. In some religions, burials are slated to occur even sooner. Religious Jews and Muslims, for example, are traditionally interred within 24 hours of death, whenever possible.
Tippecanoe Memory Gardens will be able to walk you through the steps for a burial, including the items you’ll need to purchase immediately. These include the plot, casket, and vault or liner. Selection of the memorial or monument generally takes place in the weeks or months following the burial.
Next: Buying a Burial Space
Once you’ve selected a cemetery and determined the type of plot for your loved one, you’ll need to purchase the grave space itself. Unlike other property purchases, buying a grave doesn’t mean you own the land — the property and related responsibilities still lie with the cemetery itself. In this case, purchasing a space means you have the authority to determine who will be interred there and the right to install a headstone or memorial on the grave.
It is almost always less expensive to purchase a burial plot in advance, so before you secure any costly space, be sure your loved one didn’t leave a deed or other directive in his/her will. Likewise, if you’re in the process of pre-planning your burial, consider purchasing multiple spaces to be used by your family in the future. This will save money and ensure you’re all interred together.
Request your free Personal Planning Organizer. Plan your arrangements online now.
Ultimately, the cost of a burial space is based on the location within the cemetery, the type of plot — single, companion, family or for cremated remains — and the number of plots you’re purchasing at the time. Remember that these fees do not include the vault or liner, so budget for those key pieces.
Do I Need to Purchase a Vault?
Although there’s been a recent push for natural, “green” burials, most cemeteries still require vaults. Also called liners or outer burial containers, vaults are made of strong, long-lasting materials such as concrete or metal. Before interment, the casket will be placed in the vault or liner.
The benefit of vaults is that they keep your loved one’s remains safe from the weight of the earth. As time passes, unprotected caskets can disintegrate or be destroyed by external factors —heavy rains can cause the ground to collapse, for example. These considerations are essential for cemeteries in low-lying areas.
Remember, though, that there are many types of vaults at various price points. Unless it’s your preference, there’s no need to opt for a higher-cost vault — simple, low-cost liners are as readily accepted at most cemeteries as the pricier containers. The price difference can be significant: a standard liner can cost hundreds, while high-end vaults can cost several thousand.
What Happens During the Actual Burial?
If a burial immediately follows a funeral service, the funeral director will guide the family and other mourners to the cemetery. The procession of cars typically follows the hearse, with headlights on to indicate to other drivers that the line should not be interrupted. Some mourners may choose not to attend the burial, leaving close family and friends to say their final goodbye.
Cemeteries like Tippecanoe Memory Gardens that have a funeral home on the premises avoid the need for funeral processions through street or highway traffic. Watch this video.
It’s also becoming more common for the cemetery service, often called the “committal” service, to occur in a cemetery chapel rather than at the graveside. Readings, eulogies, prayers, and final remarks may occur during the committal service. The advantage of the cemetery chapel service is that the mourners are comfortable, regardless of the weather or ground conditions. A cemetery chapel is easily accessible for older attendees, who may have difficulty walking across a cemetery section to the gravesite, especially if the ground is uneven or soft from rain.
If the service or memorial occurs graveside, mourners will assemble at the designated plot for words of committal as described above. The casket will be set up above the grave during the graveside service. Flower arrangements or tributes sent to the funeral home will be placed at the graveside. The casket is usually lowered into the grave immediately after the family and friends depart. Sometimes, a family member or funeral director will stay behind to witness the event.
What if the Weather is Bad on the Day of the Burial?
Cemeteries cannot make burials in some frigid climates—the ground would be frozen so deep that the grave could not be dug. These cemeteries would temporarily hold the deceased’s remains. Many cemeteries in cold climates have invested in heating devices placed over the grave to heat the ground overnight so the grave can be dug in the morning. Though the costs may be higher if the ground uses this method, immediate burial enables families to grieve at the moment versus having to relive the pain again come spring. Additionally, it eliminates the costs associated with rehiring the funeral director later and adequately storing the deceased for days, weeks, or even months after death.
When it comes to rain or snow, funeral directors and cemeteries have various options. Some choose to distribute dark umbrellas to mourners, while others install temporary tents — common in hot summer months — that protect the casket and the mourners from rain or snow. Again, the cemetery chapel service, where mourners say “goodbye” in a mausoleum chapel rather than at the graveside, eliminates the issues associated with inclement weather.
Do Friends and Family Always Attend the Burial?
Depending on the nature of the burial, not all mourners will likely attend the actual burial. Some families opt for a private cemetery chapel service or graveside ceremony for immediate relatives and very close friends only. If this is the case, communicate your wishes to the funeral director and in any announcements made. Often, families opt for a memorial service or other reception for extended family, friends, neighbors, and colleagues and limit burial attendance to those closest to the deceased.
Even if graveside or cemetery chapel services are made public, mourners may choose not to attend. They will either see the family at a post-service reception or follow up with a heartfelt note or condolence in the following days. The elderly may also choose not to attend the burial if there is a graveside service and the grave is not easily accessible. Unless these circumstances apply, though, immediate family members typically attend the funeral and follow the procession to the cemetery.
Planning a burial in the hours that follow a loved one’s death can be challenging. If you need to discuss any aspect of planning a burial, we’ll work with you so you understand what’s required and what’s not and how to weigh best the options presented.
Whether you choose traditional interment or cremation, a burial has unique considerations that likely fall outside your experience. But, together, we can navigate the hurdles and ensure that you select the right type of burial for your loved one.
by Jaime Hollander, Blog Contributor