A Resolution That Lasts

Every January, we make promises to ourselves. Eat better. Exercise more. Spend less time on our phones.

But what if this year, you made a different kind of resolution—one that could bring your family closer and provide peace of mind for years to come? And January—after the holiday rush, while those family connections are still fresh—might be the perfect time to do it.

We’re talking about having the conversation—the one about final wishes.

We Know It Matters—So Why Don’t We Do It?

A December 2024 study found that 90% of people believe discussing end-of-life plans with loved ones is important. Yet more than half of us haven’t started the conversation.

Research from UCLA Health puts the number even lower—only about 27% have actually had the discussion.

We know we should. We just… don’t.

Maybe it feels too heavy. Maybe we assume there’s plenty of time. Maybe we don’t know how to bring it up without making things awkward.

But avoiding the conversation doesn’t make it go away. It just means someone else will have to make those decisions later—often during the most difficult days of their lives.

What Happens When Wishes Aren’t Known

In our work with families, we’ve seen both sides.

We’ve sat with families who had no idea what their loved one would have wanted. They agonized over every choice—cremation or burial? Open casket? What music? They second-guessed themselves constantly, worried they were getting it wrong.

And we’ve sat with families who knew exactly what their loved one wanted. They still grieved, of course. But there was a different quality to their experience—a sense of peace. They weren’t guessing. They were honoring.

The difference is profound.

A Resolution That Actually Matters

Here’s what makes this resolution different from most: it’s not really about you.

Yes, sharing your own final wishes is part of it. But this conversation is ultimately a gift to the people you love. It says: I care about you enough not to leave you wondering.

And if you’re the one starting the conversation with a parent or grandparent? You’re honoring them. You’re saying: Your life matters to me. I want to celebrate it the way you would want.

NPR has called this kind of planning “a lifetime gift” to your family. We think that’s exactly right.

How to Start (Without It Being Weird)

If you’re not sure how to bring this up, here are a few approaches that work:

Lead with your own wishes. Say something like, “I’ve been thinking about what I’d want someday. Can I tell you?” This opens the door without putting anyone on the spot.

Let a natural moment be your entry point. Maybe you attended a funeral recently, or saw something in a movie, or read an article like this one. Use it: “This got me thinking—have we ever talked about this?”

Start small. You don’t need to plan an entire service in one sitting. Just start with the big questions: burial or cremation? Religious service or celebration of life? You can build from there.

Frame it around their life story. The Funeral and Memorial Information Council encourages families to use these conversations as a chance to talk about what made a person’s life meaningful—the stories, values, and memories that matter most. That’s a beautiful way to approach it.

Making It Easier

At Tippecanoe Memory Gardens, we offer free resources to help with these conversations, including our Personal Planning Organizer and Living Will Kit.

Sometimes it helps to have something tangible to work through together. And if you’d like to talk through your options with someone, we’re always here—no pressure, just guidance.

This Year, Make a Different Type of Resolution

Most New Year’s resolutions fade by February. But this one? This one lasts.

Having the conversation about final wishes isn’t morbid. It isn’t giving up on life. It’s one of the most loving things you can do for the people who matter most.

So this January, between the goal-setting and the fresh starts, consider carving out time for a conversation that really counts. Your family will thank you—maybe not today, but someday when it matters most.